Articles & Blog

Your “Wondrous” Moments

Recently on facebook, I had a request from a anotherNever Crossings coach, he asked  if he could  add me to this new group that he had created and one of the words he used was wondrous but in a different context.

So this got me thinking what does wondrous really mean, is it all about  perspective or just a word that gets put in many different contexts as a descriptive adjective.

I decided to look up what the definition of wondrous is  according to the dictionary :

The adjective wondrous is a great word to use when you’re describing something amazing or delightful. You could talk about the wondrous view of the ocean from the cliffs where you’re standing. There’s a hint of magic and awe about the word wondrous. (www.vocabulary.com/dictionary/wondrous)

Now I want to bring a thought to your attention, that your attitude and mindset can be “wondrous” too.
So you may now be thinking:
 “What does this mind-set and attitude need to look like? ” and
 “Where can you find it? “
Well my answer to you is that it has always been there and never walked away and left you.
Maybe you have not  utilised it as often because life has got too busy, too crowded, too demanding, too tiring , too everything or even too nothing.
It does exist, it is what makes us all stop in our tracks, notice that moment,  might be fleeting or more and then we  absorb it through all our senses.
It is that part of you that feels amazing and delightful when you see something  so beautiful and artistic  or hear the   beautiful vibrational sound like  your favourite music and all this reminds you or even creates a new emotion of delight that just feels so wonderful. It feels magical!
This moment can be in our personal or work lives. We can all remember something special in our lives, those inspirational or motivational or proud moments. This list can easily go on.
 If you are parents, this is an experience you will ever forget when your children were born or said or did something that was magical to you.
 Baby Elephant
Baby Elephant
Also animals especially where we have a bond or even seeing something like a baby elephant  enjoying and bathing in water. It could be when you are out and about and notice something special in the way people are with each other, a touch , a look, a whisper, in all that fleeting moment.
There are thousands of these examples on youtube and shared millions all over on social media platforms.
All capturing the perspective of this emotional content of pure magic.
I want you all to start to notice these. The way our brains rewires this appreciation is creating a possibility of new neural pathways. This new neural pathway can be practiced repetitively until you start to do this more often.
That wondrous moment you are attaining to grow can only induce healthy mind and body.
 So is it possible for you to be more in this wondrous state? Do you think that you could create an attitude that you can appreciate of  what is around you rather than  focussing on the negativity? This negativity could you possibly  not direct it towards yourself or others? Do you feel this could you possible?
Well I believe you can with practice and it makes your daily chores more digestible and pleasant.
So here are my 7 useful tips that you could apply :
 wonrous beauty-of-nature
  1. Witness – Become more  aware of what you are perceiving around you. Be more of a witness or observer than falling straight in what you have always  been doing without thinking. Pause and breathe and then respond. Well,  let’s put it this way , you do have a choice but the key is to understand and allow that choice to actually come up. Your old thinking was not allowing you to notice that change or perception but now it is a possibility.
  2. Change the Angle of the perspective. Consider the possibility of changing the lens or the angle, so change your view, change the perspective. Put yourself in the situation as if you were playing the part of another person and notice what has changed in your own emotions and thought.
  3. The sounds or noises, where else could they be placed, make them animated or like a cartoon, if it helps to add humour only where appropriate. Make them dominant or make them insignificant.
  4.  Your Response How about choosing to change your response to one that is positive for you. You cannot change what anything as it is probably outside your control but you can definitely change your response because you can. You actually do have a choice. Most people think they that they have not got this choice but in fact we do have this choice.
  5.  Appreciation How about appreciating that wondrous moment, capture it in your minds-eye, connect to the emotions. Bring them to the forefront. Embrace the appreciation. Looking at the elephant picture will easily create that smile.
  6.  Focus. Just focus on all these and allow the new perspective to just develop. There is nothing to do as your brain does it naturally.
  7. Allow. When we just phase into that beauty of that moment allow it to linger, in your mind, in your emotions. feel absorbed by it. Enjoy it. It makes the difference.
wondrous Attitude-is-A-Little-Thing-Photo-dc06-600x751
By now you are probably thinking Nahhh just do not have time for that. Well here is the thing, this is just the attitude in your mind- set.
Attitude is what we create unknowingly and knowingly  and sometimes it gets in the way of our day. Yes you have all been there, that’s right got out the wrong side of bed. From here everything goes down hill ! The day just gets worse sometimes all because we have this attitude problem.
 I can almost hear you asking
“Well how do I change that?”
WS_fbProfile_text
The answer is easy, apply the 7 simple steps and notice the change in the attitude mark.
Go on give it a try! Oh you rather stay where you are. That’s a decision that you have internalised and agreed on, got a whole thing to tell you all about our decisions and how they sometimes just get in our way.

 

Can hoarding clothes be toxic for you?

hangers-569364_640      Hi everyone . Lets talk.  I want you to really consider and just for a few seconds speculate if you think, you are a hoarder from a smaller to bigger scale.

You may even be one of those rare people that never hoards at all!

OK you are probably wondering why am I talking about this topic. The answer is easy, because, it is usually a reflection of your mind and or your emotions. There you are. That got your attention.

Well lets look at this way When we hoard stuff we could ask ourselves the following:

  1. For what purpose am I keeping it? why ?
  2. How long do I intend to hang onto this item for?
  3. When was the last time I actually used this item?
  4. Dig deep and really answer it with honesty , does it remind you of the past? What is this past connection? young times, good times, best times etc
  5. How important is this item to you?
  6. What would happen if you did part company with that item?
  7. Would you miss it at all, really!
  8. If you have not worn it for ages then what use is it to you anymore?

De-cluttering is like a self cleansing method to clear your emotions and de clutter the mind.

Did you know that you usually  use only 20% of your wardrobe all the time and the other 80% is like storage.

We  probably choose at an unconscious level, clothes that we like to hide in or feel good in or feel just comfortable in or easy to go and have dinner, or to look and feel gorgeous and this list can go on…

At an unconscious level you will buy and store or wear clothes according to your frame of mind or your emotions. Think about it, have you got items sitting there with all the labels on it still or items you have never worn?

If you have a busy cluttered wardrobe then what message are you really sending to yourself. You have or not got time for you, focus or attention for you.

Try this, take a small section and give it a clear out and sort it and keep it tidy for 3 days and see how you feel about that small section that you have paid attention to as this represents you in a different or new way.

Now check and see how does this tiny section make you feel about you every time you see it.

 

Brendon Burchard.. motivational speaker of our times

WS_fbProfile_text    Brendon Burchard is a motivational and inspirational speaker and presenter of our current times.

He shares his authentic self and talks from the heart. He has passion and drive and is also truly grateful with the connections he creates.

He words will “hit home” somewhere to some one at some point.

His latest book is called he Motivation Manifesto. Here he talks about 9 declarations which are :

  1. meet life with full presence and power
  2. reclaim your agenda.
  3. defeat your demons
  4. advance with abandon
  5. practice joy and gratitude
  6. do not break integrity
  7. amplify love
  8. inspire greatness
  9. slow time.

The first paragraph reads:

There comes a time in the lives of those destined for greatness when we must stand before the mirror of meaning and ask:”Why, having been endowed with the courageous heart of a lion, do we live as mice?”

We must look squarely into our own tired eyes and examine why we waste so much time sniffing at every distraction, why we cower at the thought of revealing our true selves to the world,  we scurry so quickly  from conflict and why we consent to play small.

Some of us will read and think  what he says may or may not connect or resonate with us right now  BUT there will always be a time when we can connect to this message because we have experienced it or know of someone going through this.

So if you like motivational information check out Brendon Burchard who is #1 New York Times Bestselling Author and even spoken about by Oprah Winfrey.

 

 

Latest human movement in Psychology.

WS_fbProfile_text                           Have you heard about the latest

                                                                                                     human movement in recent Psychology?

It is called The 3 Principles and it’s all about your own Innate Wisdom.

It’s new as a concept for corporates, organisations, staff, individuals and groups  who are connecting, bonding, understanding and experiencing innate inner connection to self with a clear purpose.This purpose in all about gaining clarity of mind and inner connection, the innate wisdom of self. 

The description of what the principles stands for has been around for a long time but now it is being taught, shared and brought into businesses and many sectors of our lives.

There are no tools or techniques or processes or scripts. The simplest explanation is so simple.

We all  are born with our own innate wisdom that is ours, when we connect to this wisdom, we gain our own insight. We have all connected to our wisdom but may not have always appreciated or been aware of it. The deep connection to self is a place where you gain such deep meaning that we create and make deep rooted internal changes.

The main teachings start with understanding how thought works. You see, we all experience so many thoughts and these thoughts are just that… just thoughts.

For example: Think of your thoughts like trains, when these train of thoughts come and go in your mind, you actually have a choice to get on that train of thought or visually in your mind’s eye watch it go away. So its like you becoming the observer of your thoughts. With practice and awareness this becomes easier and easier,  and this then shapes your reality of your life.

The 3 principles are : universal mind, universal consciousness and universal thought.

Here is the link to the founder of the 3 principles: Syd Banks :

https://youtu.be/6MrDz-twIkk

There is a lot more information on you tube and please check out the following link  from a clinician and psychologist who now works with the 3 p’s.

I know this may sound all a deep level of thinking but the essence of the 3 P’s is simple:

We don’t need to be fixed by any one outside of ourselves from a psychological aspect as the answers lie inside of ourselves, and the 3 p’s point this out and re direct us inside of ourselves. The most effective work for inner change that is so profound is actually inside of you. When I work with clients where we have reached a point where the thinking drops deeper and the client starts to get insights, client is working on the level of 3 p’s. That is just magic to witness as a coach.

 

Is your energy level running at optimum?

How is your energy level throughout your day?WS_coverPage_FB

I was having to do some work on a course that I  have been participating in  and came across a pod-cast that I found so helpful and interesting. Some readers may know or not know that I recently put a blog out  about how  I don’t like walking and have started walking by shifting an internal decision.

It has been so far successful and just like Sarah Arrow’s 30 day blogging challenge I have added the walk as a 30 day walking challenge in my mind set.  There is a proviso, just like the blog posts if I was unable to do a blog or walk then there is not negative over-thinking but moving on to do the next walk or blog. Keep it simple and no need to have a defeatist thought or mindset.

So as the  weather has been warm and sunny, we tend to  become conscious of how we eat and shift focus on our body . This got me thinking on my energy levels and how I can improve this.

When I am working,coaching, my clients I do actually work with clients energy levels too from the the context of mental, and emotional energy influencing the body. the physiology of your body is very in tune to your head and emotions. I found this link very useful and wanted to share with you.

Here are the seven pillars to operate on optimal energy level according to Dr Ritamarie Loscalzo.

please also see website as drritamarie.com

plus another free gift audio and webinar from Adrenal recharge.com, quick ways to help you to re-charge your energy. http://drritamarie.com/vibrant/adrenal-gift/

 

  1.  Nutrition. Eat wholesome real food.  Wherever possible increase your food choice that has not been processed or packaged. Shunning the processed food is a good start.
  2. Living with gratitude, seeing things in gratitude even if things go wrong. Give it a go for 3 days see the difference.
  3. Mind and Attitude. Have the belief and Vision that you will get there. Get rid of feeling Defeated. Open up and take the obstacles out.
  4. Movement. Just get off your butt. Figure out what works with your busy  lifestyle and your  body as well. Sitting down far too long is one of the damaging factors for our skeletal system. Do your e mails standing up.  Try it for 20 minutes  each day.
  5. Managing your stress. We are surrounded by emotional stress, eletro-magnetic stress, food stress, Physiological stress etc.  go on a mini vacation. To combat this do a 30 seconds heart map, go on a mini mind holiday, this  shifts your hormones and enzymes and your physiology too.
  6. Sleep is super important. Most business owners don’t know how to turn their mind off.  There is quantity and quality of sleep. On quality improvement avoid eating 3 hours before going to sleep but you can have water.
  7. The environment. The clutter around you. The toxic and chemicals  in your environment  too. Its about a clean environment, even what you put on your skin.

Have FUN. Identify 20 things you can have fun, do this for 5 minutes. This makes you more productive. for example: do a puzzle for 5 mins, things that take you away from what you are doing. Make a list of what fun things you can do for 5 minutes and start these off or create an arty picture and do 5 minutes every day and use your imagination. It does not matter its your fun 5 mins. It could be active like an on the spot jog to your very favourite song playing really loud. How about your 5 minutes fun dance where no one can see you, or stand in front of your mirror and just pretend you are a famous singer and sing your heart out to your favourite song.

So what would you do for your daily 5 Minutes of fun? Of course you can make this to 10 minutes  or more, it is  your decision and your choice.  So go on, inject some 5 minutes of fun time and see what happens to your energy levels.

( I have carefully summarised the message of what and how I perceive Dr Ritamarie Loscalzo amazing information and have added ideas about the fun part).

 

 

Finding your voice.

man-with-a-megaphone-2-1378634-s Blog 11 ( 30 day Blogging Challenge)

Hello everyone, I wanted to raise awareness about how there can be subtle differences with lack of confidence, becoming assertive and finding your voice.

Confidence issues can usually be found in a specific area or circumstances and we may find these sometimes challenging in these areas or circumstances.

Sometimes to  improve confidence we can shift the mindset from using a positive confident experience and applying it to this required area. This can be done at a conscious level, for example in conversational change or at the unconscious level like in a hypnotherapy session.

Becoming assertive may lend it self to being firm with our own convictions. Especially firm in expressing what we believe. Letting people know that we have something to say or want to be heard or wish to take some action.

Finding your voice has a slight difference.

Its only when we dig deep, acknowledge and accept ourselves and appreciate and feel important , by us and no one else, we actually start to find our inner voice and stop hiding behind our own mask ( metaphorically speaking ) that we present to the outside world. This is finding your connection to you.

When we do this we raise our confidence and assertiveness easily and effortlessly.

Effectively, this is working on you, from the inside out.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

relationships…when they are painful

diamond-500872_640    Day 10 ( 30 day Blogging Challenge)

We have all been there and back. We have all wondered how on earth are we going to cope when our world seems to be in deep turmoil and there is so much emotional charge going off and not knowing what to do, how to talk, what to say, to that very person you had such a deep connection with in the first place. Now it has all changed. Life has changed.

This topic has come about from a coaching session and it became clear that both parties would go through some painful transition even though it was an amicable agreement setting.

That is the negative area of a break up.

The positive area is simple, it does exist, but it is not being seen. Understandable too in the circumstances.

Just like everyone shines like a deep diamond  and seeing their current life through one side or facet , there is another side or facet. This side is simple and clear but never appreciated for this. Well it is hard to notice it.

You see, firstly, we as individuals need to learn who we are, re- connect to ourselves, and start work on the inside to heal the emotions. When this process happens, internal change happens. When internal change happens we go through our own transformation.

The secret is to understand, re – connect, and decide to let go and move on. But everyone knows that there is a time frame attachment to this. For some it takes longer, for some not so long at all. In order to heal, internal transformation needs to take place and sometimes it is not a pretty process  to go through BUT somehow we do pull through.

So what was the purpose of this blog, it is this, once you understand and appreciate the process of your own transformation, a new light then starts to emerge and  shine through the facet that we once did not know was even there.

Yes, I will keep telling you, till you hear me, you are a diamond!

 

 

 

I hated going for a walk and now…

Day 9 ( 30 day Blogging Challenge )

Hello everyone, I missed a day and now back with the challenge. Now I want to share something that I have never understood why and how people do this and not get bored.

I am talking about walking, that’s right, going out for a good, energetic walk! Not a wimpy walk but a good strong stride walk. You see I hate walking, I am  NOT a walker. Really I know its a lazy mindset attitude and plus I find excuse after excuse not to do this.

I have friends that go for a good walk, but for me, I just don’t and can’t buy into it. I would rather go to a fitness class, get disappointed that I was useless at the class and then not go again.

Do you see a pattern here? I have a mindset and attitude problem and I have made a decision to not like it or do it and give in. I call it being a wimp, again that is my version.

Guess what, last Friday  I decided to get more organised and managed my time better. This freed up some space for me in the afternoon. On the same day I had a meeting and heard myself about how unfit I am and how I need to get in shape. I thought how many times will I run the same record !! How many excuses do I need to make, How unfit do I have to get before I  do something about it?

So I then decided to DIG DEEP and motivate me why I should do a healthy walk for me. Surprisingly I did DID DEEP and found reasons why I should walk !!

By the way the DIG DEEP came from watching the end of a american weight loss programme  where a guy lost half his weight and his advice was ” you gotta really DIG DEEP and keep going” simple advice but it was not what he said but how he said it and  I  remember his expression well. Almost like saying to me … you gotta go to that place girl, deep inside and find it and do it! I heard this in an american tone of voice inside my head.

It was about 3pm on that friday I decided in my mindset  that I would go for a walk and if a little old lady walks faster then me then its ok. If I need to stop , its ok, if it takes longer , its ok. if I get out of breath, its ok. I had to exaggerate all my Ok’s  just to get out the door!

Whilst out walking, my husband rang and could not believe that I was actually out for a walk, you see, he walks daily!

Later that evening, he mentioned this and said how pleased he was etc. I stopped him there in the conversation . I said I had something to tell him and he might not like it. I told him that I do not want him to join me on my walk, if I go again.

You see, before,  if I tried or attempted to go for a walk then he would join me keeping me company, plus he is a good walker and had to really slow down his walk for me, plus he talked a lot, meanwhile I was seriously  struggling to keep pace with his slowed down version of a walk!  You can guess, this made me, feel lets say, not good.

It is  now Day 3 and I have continued a daily one hour walk. Yes I am very surprised at this. I also know that  I am not in competition with any one and  aim to do my personal best each day. That is good enough for me.

So the question for everyone is, ” what do you need to DIG DEEP for, and when will you start”?

Here is a great link to a fantastic expert, who knows all about walking and getting into shape with walking. http://www.joannahall.com/

managing time is essential ….tips to create time for you.

Day 8 ( 30 day Blogging Challenge )

How we manage out time is probably a biggest factor that we probably overlook.This is so true in the context of running busy lives.

If you have a business to run or work in a busy environment or just a really busy parent then this can help.

  1. Plan your day – either mentally or write it down. what is so important and urgent today that you absolutely MUST  do by the end of the day. Example , pay a bill as the dead line is near, make that phone call, etc. By the very nature of its importance and urgency if you left this tomorrow you know there may be negative consequences or not doing this will you give you a problem.
  2. what is the next task you need to do but its more like a SHOULD. If you left this task or job today , it is not the end of the world but it comes under the important category but not urgent yet. This is what you could do tomorrow.
  3. Things that you would like to do if you had the time is under the WANT, this is what you wish  to do. These are not urgent or not important but would wish to do these.

These three categories help you to quickly prioritise your day in your office, work , business or family.

BONUS TIPS

  • Plan and  list your three MUST, SHOULD, WANT columns.
  • Now give these a time slot, this could be one 20 mins to one hour or more. Everything in MUST column must be done today, then if possible start on the should list. When you do these daily you will find you will create time for your wish or want list.
  • Batch and action all your phone calls together, this is far more effective for you.
  • Batch and action your e mails in one time slot or if too many, split these.
  • Working  for 45 minutes and have a break is far more effective if doing intense mental task.
  • If you have a task that you don’t like doing then by that very nature do this first. Do not let this task keep bugging you all day at the back of your mind.
  • Plan in time out for you, coffee, book, walk, run etc …it’s important for your daily well being.

See below for an interesting link relevant to managing your time in your life and how you can reduce stress too.

http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/pages/time-management-tips.aspx